I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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