omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
