I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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