We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize