road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
