so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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