he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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