i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
