like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
