Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
