drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
