walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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