so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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