9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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