apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
