we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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