you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
