Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
