Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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