Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
