i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
