shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
