Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
