Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
