She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
