It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
