I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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