so that wasnt chicken after all
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
