Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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