Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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