I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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