I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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