i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
