Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
