how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
