Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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