Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Couch. On fire.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
