remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
