So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
