I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
do herpes really smell.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
