she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
