Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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