Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
