I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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