The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
