Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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