Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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