Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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