This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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