Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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