i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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